Warriors Blind Date Clinic
by ScorpiusLuv
Summary: The clans have hung the warrior code, and Leopardstar and Mistyfoot start a Blind Date Clinic. While Leopardstar and Mistyfoot have fun with Blackstar and Cedarheart, how will their Blind Date Victims fare? 2nd Pairing: Hawkfrost and Leafpool, R&R 1stfic
1. Littlecloud x Mousefur

**This is my first actual fanfic on here... and i kno the concept is pretty stupid. Here's the summary**

**Firestar, Blackstar, Leopardstar and Onestar decide to hang the romance parts of the warrior code, who needs it anyway? Leopardstar and Mistyfoot start a Blind Date clinic, each chapter is a certain pairing, and how the date goes.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Fawnfoot**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter One: Littlecloud and Mousefur----------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Hello Beautiful!" sang Littlecloud, rehearsing for the date. He licked his chest fur a few times, licked the mouse blood off his lips and walked out his medicine den door. He didn't even know who his date was going to be. He did not know what he had gotten himself into.

He trotted amiably over the border, black and white fur blinding the awed cats, a medicine cat, going on a blind date?

Littlecloud trotted past the horseplace, scaring the Palomino Thoroughbred and it's Twoleg that were cantering around the ring. Littlecloud purred hello to a chained dog at the Twolegplace, and earned himself a yelling match. After shouting, "Mangy spit out mouse bile!" Littlecloud left the scene, not letting the foul-breathed canine dampen his dating day.

He reached Riverclan and shouted, "Mistyfoot, Leopardstar, where are you?"

Leopardstar jumped down from a tree and landed inches in front of him, and was soon joined by a drunken-looking Blackstar, that slurred angrily, "You interrupted out affair!"

Leopardstar looked very giggly and shushed Blackstar, before saying, "Oh, hi, when'd you get her- Oh, I mean, want your date?"

Littlecloud nodded impatientlyt and followed Blackstar, who was deliberately behind Leopardstar, looking intently at her rear. Littlecloud snorted and said, "C'mon, who is it?"

Leopardstar slapped Blackstar out of the way with her tail as he tried to lick her, and said, "Be patient, Cloudy, I thought" averting her eyes to look at Blackstar flirtatiously "Medicine cats were bred for patience..." She wrapped herself around Blackstar until Littlecloud couldn't tell whose legs were whose.

He looked away respectfully, hearing Leopardstar saying, "Oh yes, c'mon, we can do that later, I have a customer, Blackstar" through flirtatious giggles. Blackstar was just laughing the whole time and saying, "I love it when you do that."

Leopardstar untangled herself and licked her crazy pelt smoothly before turning back to Littlecloud and saying, "Your date tonight is Mousefur."

"Mousefur?" asked Littlecloud! His cheerful demeanor immediately vanished.

"Yes!" said Leopardstar cheerfully and returned to seducing Blackstar.

Littlecloud tried to make the best of the situation and run for it, but it was too late for that. Blackstar caught him with his only unoccupied body part, his back leg. blackstar became unbalanced, and he and Leopardstar landed in a pile, laughing and rolling all over each-other.

Littlecloud saw Mousefur approaching and said, "Crap." But he had to admit she looked pretty. Her fur was so groomed that it shone silver, and her eyes were bright.

Littlecloud was still in the pile, and realized that he was currently laying on top of Leopardstar. Mousefur looked at his position and yowled, "Oh my god! What kind of Blind Date Clinic is this if my date is cheating on me before I even get here! I hate you Littlecloud! I hate you Leopardstar!"

Leopardstar returned to Blackstar, not even seeming to noticed the outburst nearby. Littlecloud protested, "I wasn't cheating on you!"

"Then why were you having an affair with Leopardstar!?"

"That was an accident!"

"Oh yes, and my accident for the night is going to be you ending up dead!" Mousefur launched herself at him and yowling, "I liked you!!! How could you do this to me, Littlecloud???"

Littlecloud dodged, but decided to have another approach and went limp before she could touch him. She stood over him, and he opened his eyes enough to see her evaluating him and his body... her eyes hesitating below his stomach. She liked him?!

He took as much dignity as he could, jumped up and licked Mousefur on the nose, purring, "I love you, Mousefur."

She looked taken aback and said, "You slimy furball!" But she did wrap herself around him... batting her eyes...

_Curtains close, children evacuate!_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Here's a little poem I came up with**

**_You know what to do,_**

**_Just review!_**

**That was kinda stupid, sry, review**

**Fawnfoot**

**REVIEW**


	2. Hawkfrost x Leafpool

**This is my first actual fanfic on here... and i kno the concept is pretty stupid. Here's the summary**

**Firestar, Blackstar, Leopardstar and Onestar decide to hang the romance parts of the warrior code, who needs it anyway? Leopardstar and Mistyfoot start a Blind Date clinic, each chapter is a certain pairing, and how the date goes.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Darkstripe's girl**

**ps- about the name, if i were darkstripe's girl, I'd kill him... don't worry, i hate him... so, don't ask wy my name is darkstripe's girl because i have no clue**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Two: Leafpool and Hawkfrost----------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Hawkfrost was stalking his den, contemplating whether he should go for the roguish surly attractive look, or the outgoing friendly attractive look, or the mischevious peek-at-her-when-she's-not-looking look, but be attractive either way. He didn't even know who "her" was... for all he knew he could be hooking up with glamorous Riverclan Minnowpaw, or ancient Windclan Morningflower.

He continued pacing and decided to be a mix of all three, surly, friendly and mischevious all at the same time... er, make that confused and mischevious... how could one person be surly and friendly at the same time?

Hawkfrost began licking his golden chest fur, and fluffing his golden tail. He rolled his eyes around in his head for warm-up, and promptly dropped into fifty kitty push-ups. He did many other warm ups, and started practicing his speech, "Hello, Beautiful, You are the Prettiest thing I 've seen today, may I take your paw as we stroll to the Overly- Romantic Waterfall."

"I'd love to!" came a replying shrill.

Hawkfrost whipped around to see a drunken Mistyfoot stumbling into the den. Her eyes were showing their whites but she was cracking up at nothing in particular and saying, "I love you, I love you, I want my kits to come right now!"

Hawkfrost stepped backwards warily, and said, "You're having kits?"

"Yeah! I just made them with Cedarheart, they're going to be the prettiest kits in Riverclan, wanna know why?"

"Err- not really," said Hawkfrost, revolted by the deputy's behavior.

"Because we made them in the top of a tree!" She promptly had another laughing fit... and proceeded to have a hairball in the middle of the floor. She wiped her mouth and said, "Sorry, Hawkie, your partner for tonight is Leafpool."

'"My name's Hawkfrost!" he yowled frusteratedly, and then perked up, saying, "Did you say Leafpool?"

_She's a fairly attractive cat, _he thought, _and this would be my perfect revenge for Crowfeather after he spiked my hair with mouse-bile! Muah-ha-ha! He'll be so jealous of me and Leafpool. She'll have my kits! The perfect revenge and the perfect mate! Muah-ha-ha!_

He turned back to Mistyfoot and said, "She'll be perfect, I love you for choosing her for me!"

Mistyfoot giggled girlishly and un-deputy-ish-ly and said, "You're the second tom that's said you loved me tonight, maybe I'll have the kits of two toms!" She started approaching him until he was flattened against the wall and said, "That's not what I meant... Mistyfoot, stop touching me!"

Mistyfoot pressed herself against him and around him and in him until they fit together like a puzzle piece, and she meowed enthusaistically, "C'mon, hurry up before someone finds us!" Hawkfrost found himself looking at somewhere he really didn't want to look that was right in front of his face, and he pushed her off of him.

He sprinted out of the den, hearing Mistyfoot say behind him, "I love it when toms play dirty... COME BACK HAWKFROST!"

He found Leafpool and said his speech embarassedly, "Hello, Beautiful, You are the Prettiest thing I 've seen today, may I take your paw as we stroll to the Overly- Romantic Waterfall."

Leafpool snorted in laughter and said, What are you waiting for then?"

Hawkfrost smiled and they walked to the waterfall together, talking amiably about idle subjects. The second they reached the waterfall, everything changed.

Leafpool sat seductively in the front of a cave and said, "Come into the cave with me, baby, it's more romantic in here." She smiled and giggled.

Hawkfrost laughed back and walked deliberately to the cave, not pausing as he goosed Leafpool with his tail. She giggled and thrust herself on top of him, and soon they were rolling around on the floor, engrossed in each-other.

The Next Night-

They were still having an affair, when Crowfeather walked in. He saw Leafpool and Hawkfrost's doings and shouted at the top of his lungs "HAWKFROST I WILL KILL YOU! SO WHAT THAT I SPIKED YOUR HAIR WITH MOUSE BILE, WHY'RE YOU HAVING KITS WITH MY MATE LEAFPOOL?"

Hawkfrost and Crowfeather leapt at eachother, while Leafpool collapsed on the floor, giggled and gasping for breath from her twenty-four hour... escape. She shrieked shrilly, "I love you Hawkfrost, I love you Crowfeather, Go Hawkfrost, Go Crowfeather!"

_Curtain Closes, Children evacuate as things get dirty._

**_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_**

**I must say, i felt really wierd writing this, and here goes another poem;**

_You know what to do_

_You must review_

_To make a happy me,_

_press the little blue button and you'll see,_

_a happy me, a happier you,_

_because then I'll start another chapter anew!_

_You know what to do_

_You must submit a review!_

**Sorry, still a little hyper. REVIEW!**

**Darkstripe's girl**


	3. Onestar x Tawnypelt

**This is my first actual fanfic on here... and i kno the concept is pretty stupid. Here's the summary:**

**Firestar, Blackstar, Leopardstar and Onestar decide to hang the romance parts of the warrior code, who needs it anyway? Leopardstar and Mistyfoot start a Blind Date clinic, each chapter is a certain pairing, and how the date goes.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Darkstripe's girl**

**ps- about the name, if i were darkstripe's girl, I'd kill him... don't worry, i hate him... so, don't ask wy my name is darkstripe's girl because i have no clue**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Three: Onestar and Tawnypelt----------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Oh, Tawnypelt!" squealed and giggled Tallpoppy, "You look so beautiful! I wish I were as pretty as you, and then I would probably have even more kits with Blackstar!"

Tawnypelt laughed half-heartedly, grooming her coat nonstop... but stopped suddenly, "Did you say that Blackstar's your mate?" she was horrified.

Tallpoppy nodded and said, "It's so romantic, but don't tell anyone, I want to keep it a secret."

Tawnypelt's eyes widened and she said, "You mean Blackstar... like as in the leader of our clan--- of Shadowclan?"

"Well what other Blackstar is there?" asked Tallpoppy indignantly, "Do you think I am not worthy of our leader, Tawnypelt? Because Blackstar sure as mouse-dung thinks I am," she added forcefully.

"No, no! That's not what I meant!" said Tawnypelt hastily, "It's just that... Leopardstar is going to... have Blackstar's kits. They just... made them the other day during the first blind date..."

Tallpoppy looekd shocked and said quietly, "I don't believe you Tawnypelt. This isn't funny, don't lie to me! It's not funny!"

"I'm not lying, Tallpoppy, I heard it straight from Littlecloud! You can ask him yourself" said Tawnypelt!

"Fine, I will ask him. And if you're lying you have my full permission to go fall off a cliff!" practically shouted Tallpoppy.

She stormed off, and Tawnypelt started sobbing, before realizing that her date was less than 100 heartbeats away. She wiped her face on her paws and looked at her reflection in the puddle at her paws.

Her beautiful tortoiseshell fur was glistening, and her teary green eyes had a water, glistening look. She smiled in spite of herself and trotted to Riverclan. She stopped as she saw Leopardstar doing "something" in a tree with Blackstar, and called, "Hey, down here!"

Leopardstar untangled herself and leapt down, saying in a giggly voice, "Oops, sorry... I was... busy."

"So I could see" said Tawnypelt dryly.

Leopardstar giggled hesitantly and said, "Erm- Tawnypelt your partner is... let's see... Onestar!"

"That weakling?" erupted Tawnystar, but then looked around sheepishly, and said, "He's not here yet, is he?"

"No, not that I know of, but seeing as he's a spy, he might have been enjoying watching Blackstar and I having..."

"Erm- I'll... just go look for... Onestar... you and Blackstar..." she paused and sighed, "Have fun."

Leopardstar laughed and said, "Are you kidding? This is the most fun I've had in moons!" She bounded back up the tree to re-tangle herself in Blackstar.

Tawnypelt was revolted by her leader's behavior and lack of loyalty to Tallpoppy, but jogged dutifully around the territory, calling, "Onestar? Onestar?"

She finally heard a reply and said, "Where are you, Onestar?"

"Right here." He was right in front of her nose, where he promptly licked her.

"How'd you know I was your partner?" asked Tawnypelt, wrinkling her nose as the Windclan smell.

"Quiet the contrary, Tawny, I requested you." He started circling her.

"My name's Tawnypelt! No Tawny," she spat furiously.

"Of course," he bowed his head, and said, "Are you pleased with me?"

"I was hoping for someone a bit younger, I must admit. And one that wouldn't be so hard to kill if I were to anger, you have nine lives."

Onestar chuckled and leapt on top of her, sending her rolling on the ground. She leapt up and bared her fangs, snarling. She growled, "That was not a very seductive approach."

"What are you doing, I wasn't attacking you!" said a bewildered Onestar, "I was trying to make kits with you!"

"Well, you need a bit more practice in the romantic aura of life!" spat Tawnypelt. She backed up, and ran away.

This had not gone as planned for Onestar.

Tawnypelt found Tallpoppy sobbing, "You weren't lying, Tawnypelt! Leopardstar's having Blackstar's kits! I've never felt so alone in my life!"

Tawnypelt admitted quietly, "Um, I thnk Leopardstar's gonna have a lotta kits... she and Blackstar are still at it."

Tallpoppy groaned and said, "Thank you Tawnypelt... I have some "business" to attend to."

That Night

Later that night, Blackstar's body was found at the base of a tree, with Tallpoppy's fur between his claws.

Two 1/2 Moons later-

Leopardstar had her kits, and as a punishment from Starclan for what she'd done... all the kits were bald.

------------------------------------------------------------------The End--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry, I just really hate Onestar, and couldn't resist having him recieve what was coming to him. And... I was trying to think of a punishment for Leopardstar from Starclan, and couldn't think of anything better than bald kits... I already did spiked-hair-with-mouse-bile. LUV THE REVIEWS! KEEP REVIEWING!

Darkstripe's Girl/ Fawnfoot


End file.
